The first step to closing the perception gap is to close the gap between what we think and what we love. Once we are aware of the gap between what we think we love and what our hearts love, we are then able to help others see the gap between what they think and what they love, and to begin trying to speak to both the “elephant” and the “rider” of another person. However, in order to do that well, we must recognize our elephant’s fight-or-flight reaction when it comes to uncomfortable or difficult subjects or situations, and be willing to see our anxiety as an opportunity instead of making our anxiety going away through flight or fight. Understanding our own fight-or-flight reaction helps us understand the fight-or-flight reaction of others, and helps us know how we can best talk with other people as opposed to just talking at them.